When people approach us about our entrepreneurship coaching for new parents, they almost always immediately confess: “I’m terrified of becoming a parent” with that deep exhale.
And when we get a little further into the conversation, we usually uncover some deeper fears that leave them feeling:
- totally underprepared with a mile long to-do list (without even knowing what should actually be on the list in the first place)
- under-supported by critical friends + family
- unsure about career decisions around parenthood
- overwhelmed with the abundance of information available
- like they suddenly need to make a million executive decisions for some other little beings’ health + future but at the same time, not feeling so solid on your their own life decisions as an adult
- insecure about a relationship with their partner or extended relationships
- stuck in a current living situation + thinking “oh my gosh, is this it?”
The list can (+ honestly often does) go on… There are so many further layers under that I’m-nervous-to-be-a-parent overwhelm.
So today, we’re giving some encouragement for the new + soon-to-be parents with this simple thought that we know for sure: you are more prepared than you think.
Now, how exactly do we know that?
Keep reading!
Willingness is Half the Battle
Let’s start with this: the desire + willingness to give love to + help a first (or second! or more!) child grow… THAT is the cornerstone + biggest part of the preparation for parenthood.
That desire + willingness is where you’re going to draw strength + stamina from when parenthood becomes extra challenging or uncertain.
“Once you’re sure that you want to bring a child into the world to care for + commit to loving for the rest of your life, you’re essentially ready to be a parent.”
But if you’re in the middle of this concern, you’re likely looking for a way more practical checklist of how to know for sure that you’re more prepared than you think. Don’t worry, we’ve got you.
The Pre-Parenthood Checklist
So let’s check first on four basic necessities:
- Do you have a roof over your head?
- Do you have food on the table?
- Do you have a job to pay the electricity + water bills?
- Do you have a way to get to + from that job?
If you answered YES to all four of those questions, then to start, you are far more prepared than the majority of the childbearing world.
[Related: How We Knew We Were Ready to Start a Family]
Living in our modern world, we tend to forget that there are children who are born into much less than what we consider standard + still thrive with only their most basic of needs being met.
Our world can go overboard with the hype + societal standards pressure us to conform to whatever new + “improved” parenting method is being sold to us by for-profit corporations.
What we’ve found to be true is this: You don’t need all those fancy gadgets to parent because your kids will still get drool stains all over their onesies, whether they’re from Hermés, or Tar-jhay (Target – see what we did there?).
“Authentic parenthood is so much less about the “stuff” + more about the substance.”
The good news is that with the thoughtfulness you’re bringing to the table right now – just by participating in a conversation about this – you already have the capacity for being a parent of substance.
Parenting well is not nearly as complicated as our imagination makes it out to be. Successful parenting simply requires a ruthless editing down to the essentials that matter most.
So let’s get back to that practical checklist for a moment + take a look at childcare. Once the baby is born + parental leaves expire, it’s possible you’ll need childcare support to continue working in the same capacity you were at prior to your child’s birth.
Otherwise, you might need to make adjustments to your job situation for you to be able to take care of your child + at the same time continue to work, whether at home or in the office.
A fresh career altogether might be the answer. Maybe you become your own boss or becoming a stay-at-home parent might better fit the new circumstances. (And if that sounds like a fit for you, apply to work with us in our Passive Income Parenthood™ program where we help you build that business + do 90% of the work for you!)
The good news here is that you do have options. Although the urgency might be feeling compounded — especially if you have well-meaning friends + family who are circling you like hawks for that pregnancy confirmation, gender reveal or a due date — you have time. Take a deep breath.
Let Nature Take Its Course
Parenting is not about planning the next 18 years perfectly + following this plan so rigidly + exactly. All you need to do is show up with intentional decisions made for this human that you deeply care about + feel immense love for.
Being a good parent is about doing the work as honestly + purely as possible because you want to be a fully authentic leader who makes decisions that feel internally good, even if they may be pioneering in the external pursuit.
Parenting is about knowing where you’re going to go for support with those thoughtful choices, even when or maybe especially when they’re going against the grain + make normal people feel uncomfortable.
Parenting is about trusting that nature doesn’t make mistakes when left to do its best work uninterrupted. Don’t suffocate nature by layering on additional choices or stressors. Choose what’s deeply important to you, eliminate the rest + then rest yourself.
[Related: Letting Parenting be Easy]
Parenting doesn’t have to be hard just because someone else says it is. You get to decide what your experience will be. You get to decide what goes on any checklist, if you decide to have any checklist at all.
And because you know that, you are more prepared than you think.
Let’s talk about this more in the comments: What made you feel ready to become a parent?
Did you have a checklist of your own?
Comment in with your story below + help other new or soon-to-be parents gain the confidence they need to fully step into an authentic, enjoyable parenthood.